Friday, October 30, 2009

Out of Character

I am pretty timid about my opinions--not in private, of course.  I am prone to ranting to poor Kyle and my family and best friends.  But out in the open--especially amongst people who disagree with me--I avoid debates.  They make me uncomfortable.  However, the other day I felt I had to stand up for the Church when a discussion was turning anti-Mormon.  I made a comment, just to clarify a blatant lie--which turned into answering some questions from a friend.  I ended up feeling quite strongly about something I had never thought a lot about because it was easier not to.  It was kind of exciting to research and pray and gain a testimony of a topic that I never felt strongly about.  The conversation closed with me bearing my testimony of the Gospel--and it felt really really good.  I never bear my testimony in church because I'm terrified of speaking to the congregation.  I'm never the first to bring up gospel topics with non-members.  I'm just too shy, I guess.  Anyways, it was exciting to me that I was brave enough to engage in this conversation.

And then, the conversation that I was so happy about ended up being turned into a negative blog post that was strongly anti-Mormon in tone.  My sincere words were used to illustrate my ignorance (and indeed the ignorance of all Mormons--sorry guys).  It hurt my feelings that my friend was so disingenuous.  Usually, this sort of thing would be DEVASTATING to me.  And while I was disappointed, I'm happy to say that I don't really care all that much.  Instead of being embarrassed and bitter, I feel...good.  I feel good about what I said, good about how it made me feel.  It doesn't matter that my words fell on deaf ears.  I'm grateful that my testimony was strengthened by bearing it and by learning new things about the Gospel.

I love the Gospel. I love the Prophet.  I love the temple.  I love knowing that everything is going to be okay, because the Lord loves me and my family and everyone.  I am so happy to remember that it's important to say these things--often and bravely.



*Update:  What do you do when you want to debate with someone but you're just not up to it?  You sic Russell Stevenson on him, THAT'S what you do.  And that's what I did.

7 comments:

Celia said...

This gave me chills...in the most wonderful way. I am so so glad we are friends. You continually bless my life. I'm glad you bring me closer to the Gospel and our Savior's love. Becca- you are wonderful!

Katy said...

I am so proud of you.

Diana said...

Good job, I am totally the shy one in a conversation also. You gave me determination to stand up for myself/our church next time in a conversation...and maybe if I am brave that conversation will be sooner rather then later!

Bryce said...

You're a stud...ette. Way to go, Becca.

Danny and Christy Leininger said...

Hey direct me to Russell's comment!

Becca said...

http://seekhigherground.wordpress.com/2009/10/29/reveal-to-repeal-holding-mormons-accountable/#comments

Russell's comment is just about as long as the original post! He's a scholar/genius and I'm glad he said something--because I sure didn't want to say anything else.

I'm bummed because I sent my friend several messages on the subject, but he ignored most of the information I offered. Oh well. He's a nice guy--an ex-boyfriend actually. I'm just glad that Russell was able to respond with such academic richness. He's legit.

Karen said...

You need to call me with all the deals. And what's with dying your hair and not telling me or sending me a pic???