Wednesday, January 30, 2008

I Can't Like Florida Anymore

It's snowing SO MUCH. I don't like it. I feel like winter has gone on for too long. I need to live somewhere with two seasons...maybe two and a half. Preferably two and a half warm seasons. But as much as I don't like being cold, once I think about snow as anyone who ever dumped me, floating down in tiny pieces, then I think it's beautiful. That reminds me of Tracy Jordan's holiday song: "Imagine Christmas wishes shooting out of your eyes..."

Sometimes I wish I had a secret blog so I could say things about people without fear of retribution...but I know that doesn't work and secret blogs always get discovered. And actually, I don't know what I would say, about anybody. Nothing really interesting is happening--Kyle and I are very non-controversial, almost to the point of being boring. If anything, it would be a blog where I could be all lovey-dovey about Kyle but not have people judge me for it. Whenever I write something mushy, I stop and think "Would Alan want to vomit if he read this?" and then I usually delete it. That's a pretty good rule of thumb.

Occasionally I find myself coming up with mean things to say to people I don't like. Like, I come up with the perfect situation to say that particular mean thing to that particular mean person. Is that wrong? But I would never actually say anything mean to someone. Luckily, I really don't have it in me to be mean--and I doubt I ever will. Unless getting married makes me wenchy, but I'm pretty sure the opposite's going to happen and I'm going to turn all motherly and sweet. That's good right?

Two really disappointing things:
*Mitt Romney getting 2nd in Florida
*The 2nd and 3rd movies in the Matrix trilogy

But I'm trying to get over it.

Tonight I had a great time getting closer to finalizing some wedding flower choices! I'm really excited. Things are really just going to work out perfectly. Plus it's getting easier to envision our perfect wedding cake. It's going to be awesome.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

I haven't blogged in years

Or like two weeks I guess--but that's a lot in the blogging world. Time is DRAGGING SLOWLY BY. Seriously, I can't believe it's still January. This has been the longest month of my life. So...what's even been going on? We've been watching some good 24 with Council Bluffs (season 4 is the best)--we watched two episodes tonight, and I'm pretty excited about it--Marwan's going to show up soon.
Last night we went to Biz's going-away party. It was nice to see some of my old freshman year friends that I haven't seen in ages. I'm happy about Caitlin meeting the potential man of her dreams there (just kidding...sort of). It was difficult to say goodbye to Biz. Goodbyes have always been so hard for me--I'd much rather run away and avoid it then have to cry and hug and say the words. I just can't help but bawl, so I can't say the things I want to say, and I just feel stupid. It's funny though, because Biz and I haven't been very close for like a year. But I realized why it was so hard. In that moment of saying goodbye, all the closeness and love you've ever felt for that person condenses into that moment, and you realize what you've lost and are losing. At least that's how it was last night. Biz was like a sister to me for a very long time, and I will miss her. Kyle's already invited her to dinner in eighteen months.

And now for something less depressing. Kyle has a new job, and is going to make heck of money. Maybe we'll be able to live somewhere less trashy then a basement apartment! We've been looking at some awesome places actually. There are too many options though. Should we find something completely trashy but really really cheap? Or pretty pricey, but big and clean? How important is it to have your own washer/dryer and a dishwasher? Should we get something nice and inexpensive in Orem, and make me take the bus to school every day? How can we ever decide? It's so fun to look though. We're constantly making plans for the wedding, and it's a blast. I've been looking forward to this my whole life! The planning is way more fun than the actual reception is going to be. We've been making cake decisions, color decisions, honeymoon decisions, flower decisions, guestlist decisions, venue doesn't seem like we'll ever be done. But I guess there is an end in sight--even though it seems like May will NEVER come. If February and March are as long as January's been, I'm going to kill myself.

The best thing: Kyle and I have been watching a LOT of 30 Rock! That makes life so much more enjoyable. And hopefully, tomorrow night we can celebrate Mitt Romney's victory in Florida at Del Taco Tuesday!

Five Buck Pizza was a big part of my weekend. So was Katy's chocolate sauce.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

I'm reminiscing

Good news: my wedding day is exactly 4 months from today!

I like thinking about the timeline this has all been part of. The real beginning of all this was on May 14, 2007 (if you discount all the months before, when I'd been wanting him madly). Or maybe even May 13. On the 13th, I wrote him a facebook message, telling him to call me sometime--very nonchalant, but it was a very bold move for someone like me. I just knew that I had to do something, because for the first time we were both single simultaneously! And I KNEW that he was exactly what I wanted/needed to have in my life. Unfortunately, I was in California. But, he was gutsy enough to call me the very next day, because he'd just been waiting for a good opportunity anyways--he'd been in Chicago, and didn't see that my facebook relationship status finally said Single! All that biding of his time really paid off :)

Anyways, that's when we started talking, which was a pretty big deal. We started dating the day I got back to Utah. So it's cool that we're getting married almost exactly a year after the first move was made.

This is the original message--oh, and I'm extremely dorky in it, because I had NO idea what to say and I was trying to I thought he was soooo funny, and the coolest person ever, and I'm not funny or cool at all, so what was I supposed to say to impress him? I was so intimidated by him, and nervous about "throwing myself" in this haphazard fashion. I can't believe I got up the guts to send it:

Ok Kyle, here's the thing. I think we should be friends, like real friends, because that would be neat, and I think you're above averagely cool. I even think that you should call me sometime, like if you're extremely bored and have absolutely nothing to do. For instance, if it comes down to a choice between calling someone or re-cataloguing your insect collection for the thirteenth time, maybe you should give me a call, and we can talk as friends do.

Pathetic, I know, but it worked. Our kids are going to make so much fun of me.

These are the only pictures we have of us together before we were dating. I love them for that reason.

This is us at Holi festival 2007, like in April--but maybe March. We were friends. I definitely cut people out of this picture.

And I LOVE this picture from Dec. 2006--it's the only time we've ever danced together (because that was back when I had to make him think I wasn't lame), and I remember that night so vividly! I didn't know him but I had a HUGE crush on him because he's so cool and attractive. I hadn't even moved in to Park Place yet--and I was only at their ward prayer "visiting my friends and sister" because I hoped to talk to him. THAT sure paid off. We were twisting underneat the Twizzlertoe, if you were wondering.

Monday, January 14, 2008

The Ring

Ok, Kyle the genius was able to take good pictures. Isn't he wonderful? My love for him is EXTREME. My fingers look weird in these don't notice that.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

This is going to be a long one

Ok, I really should blog before I forget anything. Plus, Christy wants to blog about it, but obviously I have to first!

Well. Kyle and I are engaged. We were so sure that we were getting married, it seemed like getting engaged would just be a business-like step in that direction--but WHOA it is a way bigger deal than that! I feel SO different. Having a fiance is so different from having a boyfriend--and I've only had one for several hours!

I got some gorgeous red roses first thing in the morning. Then we went BOWLING, of all things! We always said we'd go bowling together--and really, that should be a dating first step, not an engaged couple first step, at least that's what we decided. I beat him once and then he beat me--so we're perfect for each other.

We went to a sweet restaurant in SLC, and got all dressed up and everything, and had a great time. It was nice because I could just relax and know that it was finally going to happen, instead of getting sent on a scavenger hunt that ended with a trip in a hot air balloon and FINALLY a proposal, if I could even see him amidst the masses of bouquets and ballons and everyone I've ever known, huddling together to hear my answer. Instead, Kyle discerned exactly what I wanted--lowkey and personal. We like to go on drives, and have been known to get lost and end up in church parking lots (not making out, it's just a good place to sit and reconnoiter). He didn't even have a destination in mind--as Christy said, he just let inspiration guide him. And yeah, we ended up in a random church parking lot in American Fork. It was nice and cozy in the car, and we were actually listening to the tentative wedding playlist that I've been compiling (that has been so much fun!). He told me that he had a present for me in the glove compartment, and I saw the box inside and started bawling. Then I opened it and saw my ring and I continued bawling. Then he asked me if I'd marry him, and I said yes and bawled, and then he put it on my finger, and that REALLY set me off. My reaction to strong emotional situations is always the same! The song playing was Gorky's Zygotic Mynci "Easy Love"--which has now got to be my favorite song! It was very appropriate and perfect to have on--of course I noticed. Katy hopes to get engaged while listening to that song too.Then we called our parents and a couple other key people, went to Smiths and bought a lot of ice cream, and had a celebratory party at Kyle's apartment with some of our friends. It was the perfect proposal, and a perfect night.

I feel wildly out of control happy. It's hard to even describe the feeling. (Ok, if I can't be gushy about Kyle now, when can I??) Kyle is unlike anyone I know. Dating him has really changed me. Every other boyfriend I've had has made me feel like there's something wrong with ME. I was never secure, and when problems arose it was ALWAYS my fault. No wonder my self-esteem was so bruised! But Kyle completely changed that. He makes me feel like I'm the perfect girl. That's nice because to me HE is perfect. Obviously we're not but...we're as perfect for each other as anyone's ever been for anyone else. And now, to know that we can be perfect for each other FOREVER--wow. It's overwhelming in it's permanence and coolness.

So, the ring--GORGEOUS. It's seriously the prettiest ring I've ever seen--maybe because it's mine. I can't stop looking at it. Unfortunately, it's impossible to take a good picture of it! How does everyone do it? It's just too sparkly to look like anything but a mass of...sparkles. I'll try again later.

Wedding's on May 17th in Oakland!

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Snow is not my favorite, but...

I really can't tell what this semester is going to be like. Classes are weird. Spanish is going to be terrible, but I can still do well in it--even if I'm scared the whole time. Myths, Legends, and Folktales will be interesting, and I can't tell if it'll be hard or not. American Lit is boring probably, but easy enough. My English lit class is going to be crazy hard, but I REALLY want to do well. I love my professor and he is a genius, and I can learn a lot from him. That motivates me.

It's snowing like crazy. I'm FREEZING. No amount of coats will keep me warm! For that you need a boyfriend--but mine works every night until midnight, which means I'll just have to continue to pile on blankets.

Monday, January 7, 2008

It starts

School starts today. I'm dreading it. I hate finding my classes, sitting down next to strangers, getting syllabi and realizing how much the semester is going to suck, getting home and already having loads of homework, and just the all around feeling of time constraint and lack of fun. I'm not excited for my classes this semester, even though they're mostly English classes. I'm just nervous for some reason. And Spanish--oh gosh. I hope I can fake it through this semester and get another A.

Friday, January 4, 2008

I like 2008

This was my trip to Phoenix: warm weather, my own huge bed, the Mesa temple, Geocaching, Twilight Zone marathon, Z' Tejas, Bagel Bites/taquitos, the oh so exciting outlet mall, Chili's, so much sour gum it came out of my eyeballs, eegee's, DVR-ing with Kyle's mom, TRON, traffic all the way to Tucson, meeting Alan's family, eating Alan's really cool birthday cake, In n Out, downtown Phoenix, black-eyed peas, New Years Eve at a neighborhood block party, Project Runway marathon, shopping, and finally the long journey back to Provo with Kyle and Alan.

It was a really great week! Kyle's family is great. Alan's family is great. Mine is too, but I didn't see them this week. They're still great though.

And now I'm back--and it's freezing cold, and only Hana and Celia are here but they're never actually here, and school starts soon. BUT I'm still happy. Mostly because tomorrow Kyle and I are GOING TO COSTCO because I'M A MEMBER NOW!!!!!!! That is SUCH a good Christmas gift! I'm a real adult now. AND I can get cheap toilet paper in bulk.