This is all about pregnancy, sorry if you find that boring

Ok, if you don't like feelings/pregnancy/the word "cervix" you can go ahead and just skip this one.

Part 1:

For the last 4 months (ok almost four months, I'm only 15 weeks along) I have been, if you couldn't tell, pretty miserable.  Being sick every day REALLY got/gets to me.  It sucks to not be able to do anything or go anywhere just because of your dang body.  Not only was it just too hard to get up and go, but I also didn't want to throw up in front of people. (Because come on, it is GROSS.  Luckily so far no one has had to witness me throwing up, although Alan did hear me once, which was pretty embarrassing. Oh and Kyle has heard me plenty of times but he doesn't count. When I throw up and there are people over, I close all possible doors, turn on the bathroom fan AND the faucet. It usually works.)  I was so happy about being pregnant, but it was definitely hard to focus on the good things.  I had to email Kayla a couple of times, whining and asking her  how it was possible to enjoy pregnancy when it sucks so much!  I really wanted to be one of those girls who loved being pregnant, but instead I just hated it.

Things are getting better lately.  The "glow" certainly hasn't struck me yet, BUT I am happy to say that I am usually not miserable anymore.  There are still plenty of uncomfortable things about this point in my pregnancy, but the nausea isn't 24/7 any longer.  THANK HEAVEN.  Every moment I don't feel sick I am grateful.  I still throw up every day, but usually only once!  I am feeling much more lively.  I can go out a lot more now, even though I'm easily tired and constantly worried that I'll get sick.  The biggest deal EVER was when I went to see a movie.  I hadn't been brave enough to sit in a theater for two hours even though there were a million times we wanted to go see something.  But a week ago I saw a movie with Ashley and Katy at the dollar theater and didn't have to throw up once!  It was the first time I forgot I was pregnant, and it was pretty awesome.  Possibly it only worked because we were watching New Moon in a nearly empty theater late at night, which is incredibly fun, but I will take it.  And my appetite is mostly back.  I still don't eat very much, but I can eat more of a variety at least. Meaning, my diet no longer excludes everything but toast, cereal, and Jello!  I am sure Kyle is happy about this one.

Pregnancy is still, of course, a complete pain in my EVERYWHERE, but it's getting better (until it gets worse again) so I'm trying to enjoy it.

Part 2:

I'm pretty sure Morgi is a boy.  I know that I could be completely wrong, but until that's proven, I'll think of him as male.  Once it's confirmed, we can start calling him Vector.   (Don't worry, that's not the name we chose for real life.)  Morgi has kind of stuck for me though, so we'll see if I can make the transition.  Anyways, I discovered recently that I already love Morgi, and that was very exciting.  I guess the unreality has worn off so I can feel connected to this little guy.  I can't wait for him to be able to hear my voice, and it will be so fun when I can feel him moving around in there.  (Gently, hopefully.)

Before I got pregnant, I was always shopping for our future baby.  I loved looking online at all the stuff we were going to need.  I assumed that this would only get worse once I was actually pregnant, but instead...I don't really care about that stuff. I assume that I will get more into it later, once the nesting instinct kicks in.  Instead, I obsessively check on Morgi's progress.  I love reading about what's going on developmentally with him.  And he even finally looks like a baby! He is an alien no longer.  Right now he's the size of an apple, presumably a smallish one.  That seems huge to me, because I am barely starting to look pregnant!

Part 3:

Normally, when everything is fine in a pregnancy, you only get one ultrasound, at 20 weeks.  I was very disappointed when I learned that.  BUT it turns out I get to have one next week and I'm very excited. Here's the reason: my sister Christy had a complication with her pregnancy with Lucy, an "incompetent cervix" which put her on bed-rest for her 2nd and 3rd trimesters.  Isn't that a hilarious/offensive name? I sort of love it, but come on, rude!  Anyways, it's really serious and you're almost guaranteed to lose your first baby if you have it.  That's how it's usually diagnosed--with the loss of your first child at 16-18 weeks.  SO LAME.  It's a rare complication, which is why they don't check for it, but come on!  It's so easy to check.  All it takes is an earlier ultrasound!  So far it's the only thing that I get really rant-y about, pregnancy-wise. Yeah it's rare, but that's my SISTER.  That's LUCY that was miraculously saved and born.  So yeah, I take it pretty seriously.  It can be a genetic thing, so that's why they're checking me out early, just to make sure.  Even aside from the whole genetic part, I think just the fact that I KNOW about it made me want them to check.  It's super unlikely that I have it, but there's no point taking the chance.  For some reason it's the one thing that I was worrying about.  It will be so nice to not worry about it anymore!  And the bonus is that I get to see Morgi earlier than I expected.  There's the slightest chance that we'll get to find out the gender, but it's tough to tell this early.  I'm trying hard to not get my hopes up.  But it would be AWESOME.

And man, if Morgi is a girl, I will be flabbergasted.

So Many Regrets

Sometimes when I want to blog but have nothing new to say, I just re-read some old posts and that satisfies me.  I like seeing what I was doing at this time last year.  March 2009 was really eventful and exciting and awesome, which is funny, because this March is pretty dang boring.  But it was a post in March 2008 that inspires this post.  We were in the midst of planning our wedding and I posted 4 of our favorite wedding-invitation-engagement-picture candidates.  (Not our favorite engagement pictures--many of our favorites were too graffiti-y for my mom.)  Anyways, not only does that post hold the record for # of comments I've received (some of which are so funny), but it is also the source of huge regret.

Why did we choose #1??  As soon as they were printed I had doubts.  And then they were sent out--and I KNEW it was a mistake.  Whenever I see that picture on a fridge (ok just my parents' fridge at this point) I cringe.  I just don't like it at all anymore!  What happened?  We OBVIOUSLY should have sent out #3 or #4.  It's so clear to me NOW.  I hate the Past Me the made such a stupid decision!

Some things

My sister Katy just won 3rd place in a writing contest...with an essay about zombies. It's really funny--you can read it here.
 Katy is probably the reason I'm so into zombie movies in the first place. I can really relate to what she says in her essay.

Kyle's life coaching website is up and running! I am very excited about this. The link is in my sidebar, and right here.


Turns out that I'm NOT in the second trimester yet. Read the dates wrong.  I feel like a chump.  But it starts on TUESDAY. So, you know, I have another chance of feeling miraculously better starting then.  I'm praying for it.  Although it has been kinda fun to get thicker while losing weight at the same time.  I've lost about 10 pounds but you definitely can't tell.  I'm excited to start looking pregnant.  Right now I just look kind of fat.

Oh hey, you know the whole Rh negative thing?  And how if my blood type is negative, I have to get special shots because if Morgi's blood type is positive my body will start attacking it?   Well I AM negative--I'm O-, which I think is really cool because I can give ALL OF YOU blood if you need it.  I can only accept from other O- people though.  Mostly I just feel special because it's somewhat rare.  Turns out most of the rest of my family is O- too.  Anyways, Kyle is A-, which is great because that means there's no way Morgi can have positive blood, so there's no problem.  BUT the doctor said I have to show them documented proof of Kyle's blood type, or I still have to get the shots.  From what we can tell, it'll cost at least $65 to get Kyle's blood typed.  So.  I can just get the shots for free (it's covered on our insurance) or fork over the money.  Does anyone know any great ways to get that done cheaper?  Or are the shots totally no big deal and I should just do it and save money?  That seems so lame (and will it do anything weird to me/Morgi if it's unnecessary medicine?). But shots don't bug me (as long as they're just in my arm!) so...it's tempting.  Because we're poor.

I forgot to mention that about a month ago our ward was divided/combined.  SO we're in a totally new ward!  Which means we got out of our Cub Scout calling!  Which means that I can now tell you how much we hated it!  Which means we'll probably get it again because I just said that.

How I am, social engagements, and life coaching

Kyle and I decided that today I would get better.  Miraculously.  Not only is it a beautiful day outside, but it's also the beginning of my 2nd trimester!  I have longed for this day.  So far it is the exact same as the previous weeks and I have thrown up everything I've tried to eat or drink, but I won't let that get me down. I'm just happy that time is passing.

This weekend was certainly social and eventful:

• Friday: party for Amanda and Jack, my apt. filled to capacity, we all ate a ton of food
• Saturday: hung out with Amanda and Jack all day, actually left my house and went out in public!
• Sunday: dinner at CB's because Gavin is visiting, Pi Day celebration at my house complete with pi presentation from Alan, chocolate pie from me, and key lime/Sour Patch Kids pie from Ashley

After months of rarely seeing "people" this was like going from 0-60 for me.  I was exhausted yesterday from my exertions.  I can't wait for this energy boost that people say will hit me soon.

Another cool thing is the business that we now own!  You know about this if you've a) seen us recently or b) read this blog post.  Kyle has been working really hard on this since January.  The work he's done with pro bono clients has gone really well.  It turns out life coaching is nothing like what I thought it was (not that I had a very clear image of what it was in the first place) and, of course, Kyle is totally awesome at it.  He's learning a ton, his clients are getting a lot out of their sessions, and I really enjoy talking to him about the ideas he is using.  A lot more people are interested in being life coached than I ever imagined, at least when it's free--Kyle had to turn people away because he only had time for a certain amount! Now we just need to find out who will do it and pay for it too.  I think it's really cool that Kyle realized that he wanted to do something different from what he planned for his career.  He loves molecular biology, but isn't fulfilled by doing quality control.  Life coaching is much more satisfying and we've discovered that he is quite passionate about it!  I'm really happy that Kyle is excited about this and is really going for it.

Um being pregnant

Pregnancy has kind of changed me into a drastically different person.  There are fundamental parts of my personality that are just so ME--except they're not anymore!  I don't know if it's being sick all the time or just being pregnant. Whatever, I hope I snap out of it eventually. I don't care about being prompt anymore, I don't like to plan things (!), and I'm vaguely anti-social.  Guys, I FORGOT BIRTHDAY WEEK.  Until like two days before Kyle's birthday!  I felt so guilty.  Never in a million years did I ever suspect that could possibly happen.  That is evidence that Morgi has STOLEN MY BRAIN.

(Morgi is the non-gender specific fetus name we chose.  It means "shark" in Welsh and is our favorite Welsh word.  Christy/Danny/Lucy just call it "Sharky" instead, which I think is very cute.  When we know the gender, it will become Vector or Velocity.)

The most obvious change is my conversation.  I am no longer full of sparkly fun things to say.  What do I talk about instead? Throwing up.  Maybe because this is how I spend my days:

• throwing up
• trying not to throw up
• thinking of foods that will be the least gross to throw up
• not leaving the house so that I don't have to throw up in public 
• cleaning my toilet so it is more pleasant to throw up in

Yes, that is about it.  It has been a fun couple of months, let me tell you!  Luckily, this stage is beginning to pass.

Man, now I'm blogging about throwing up.  WHAT HAS BECOME OF ME?  Christy made me feel better when she told me that when she was pregnant she always felt the need to describe her throwing up experience to Danny.  I'm glad it's not just me.

Now, some promises about Pregnant Becca Blogging:

• I will never refer to myself as "preggers" or "prego"
• I won't describe my vomit
• I will be able to talk about things other than babies
• I will, however, feel free to talk about being pregnant because I will want to remember it later
• I will not overly complain, even if I do in real life, because I am grateful and happy to suffer through this
• I will not post weekly baby updates as they come to me in my email, although I might tell you what fruit or vegetable Morgi looks like occasionally, because they pick such wacky comparisons
• I will post minimal "baby bump" pictures, and then only as my mother demands them.
• I will never go into graphic detail about unmentionable body parts or procedures (because to me they ARE unmentionable on a blog) 
• If I'm going to talk about something that might be weird or gross, I will give full warning
• But that probably won't ever happen so don't worry. 

I think that's it for now.  I'm glad I feel okay today because we are going to have fun!  Amanda and Jack are going to stay with us tonight, and we invited some friends over to hang out tonight too, so I get to play hostess.

I do have to say this at least once but I may repeat it several times:  Kyle's price is above rubies.  I mean, he's not a woman, and I don't mean this because of his virtue, although he is very virtuous I'm sure.  This got too complicated.  Let's start over.  Kyle is amazing. He is the perfect man for me to have married and I'm extremely grateful that I did.  He has been taking care of me wonderfully.  Not only does he do the dishes, laundry, cooking, and grocery shopping, but he is also sympathetic and understanding of my pain/sickness/discomfort and does all he can to ease it.  He doesn't think I'm a wuss at all, and he constantly reminds me of why this is all happening in the first place. He is great.  Okay now I'm done.

Important Dates

January 17, 2007: I admit in my journal that I have a crush on Kyle
May 15, 2007: Kyle calls me for the first time
August 19, 2007: We officially start dating (and our first kiss)

January 17, 2008: We get engaged
May 17, 2008: Our wedding day

2009: Celebrated assorted anniversaries of the above important dates


January 17, 2010: We find out I'm pregnant
March 10, 2010: We hear the heartbeat of our baby
September 22, 2010 (or thereabouts): We become parents



I think January 17 is a magical, wonderful, lucky day for us.

Progress?

It's March.  That's a START I suppose.  But man, even though this has been a pretty mild winter compared to past years, it has been INTERMINABLY long.  I'm yearning for spring more than I usually do.  Yesterday Kyle and I decided to pretend it was warm and went on a picnic after church--we definitely had to bundle up to keep from freezing.  I was thinking that maybe it would be springy and warm soon...but Kyle said not for at least another month, maybe a month and a half.  Bitter truth.

All of the Easter candy commercials are NOT helping.  The colorful Reese's miniatures, Reese's eggs, AND the classic Cadbury bunny commercials come on ALL THE TIME.  And man I need a Reese's miniature and/or a Cadbury Mini Egg SOON.  And by "a" candy, I mean "a large quantity of" candy.

The chocolate rice krispy treats sitting next to me will have to suffice for now. MAN life is so hard.