Tuesday, March 30, 2010

This is all about pregnancy, sorry if you find that boring

Ok, if you don't like feelings/pregnancy/the word "cervix" you can go ahead and just skip this one.

Part 1:

For the last 4 months (ok almost four months, I'm only 15 weeks along) I have been, if you couldn't tell, pretty miserable.  Being sick every day REALLY got/gets to me.  It sucks to not be able to do anything or go anywhere just because of your dang body.  Not only was it just too hard to get up and go, but I also didn't want to throw up in front of people. (Because come on, it is GROSS.  Luckily so far no one has had to witness me throwing up, although Alan did hear me once, which was pretty embarrassing. Oh and Kyle has heard me plenty of times but he doesn't count. When I throw up and there are people over, I close all possible doors, turn on the bathroom fan AND the faucet. It usually works.)  I was so happy about being pregnant, but it was definitely hard to focus on the good things.  I had to email Kayla a couple of times, whining and asking her  how it was possible to enjoy pregnancy when it sucks so much!  I really wanted to be one of those girls who loved being pregnant, but instead I just hated it.

Things are getting better lately.  The "glow" certainly hasn't struck me yet, BUT I am happy to say that I am usually not miserable anymore.  There are still plenty of uncomfortable things about this point in my pregnancy, but the nausea isn't 24/7 any longer.  THANK HEAVEN.  Every moment I don't feel sick I am grateful.  I still throw up every day, but usually only once!  I am feeling much more lively.  I can go out a lot more now, even though I'm easily tired and constantly worried that I'll get sick.  The biggest deal EVER was when I went to see a movie.  I hadn't been brave enough to sit in a theater for two hours even though there were a million times we wanted to go see something.  But a week ago I saw a movie with Ashley and Katy at the dollar theater and didn't have to throw up once!  It was the first time I forgot I was pregnant, and it was pretty awesome.  Possibly it only worked because we were watching New Moon in a nearly empty theater late at night, which is incredibly fun, but I will take it.  And my appetite is mostly back.  I still don't eat very much, but I can eat more of a variety at least. Meaning, my diet no longer excludes everything but toast, cereal, and Jello!  I am sure Kyle is happy about this one.

Pregnancy is still, of course, a complete pain in my EVERYWHERE, but it's getting better (until it gets worse again) so I'm trying to enjoy it.

Part 2:

I'm pretty sure Morgi is a boy.  I know that I could be completely wrong, but until that's proven, I'll think of him as male.  Once it's confirmed, we can start calling him Vector.   (Don't worry, that's not the name we chose for real life.)  Morgi has kind of stuck for me though, so we'll see if I can make the transition.  Anyways, I discovered recently that I already love Morgi, and that was very exciting.  I guess the unreality has worn off so I can feel connected to this little guy.  I can't wait for him to be able to hear my voice, and it will be so fun when I can feel him moving around in there.  (Gently, hopefully.)

Before I got pregnant, I was always shopping for our future baby.  I loved looking online at all the stuff we were going to need.  I assumed that this would only get worse once I was actually pregnant, but instead...I don't really care about that stuff. I assume that I will get more into it later, once the nesting instinct kicks in.  Instead, I obsessively check on Morgi's progress.  I love reading about what's going on developmentally with him.  And he even finally looks like a baby! He is an alien no longer.  Right now he's the size of an apple, presumably a smallish one.  That seems huge to me, because I am barely starting to look pregnant!

Part 3:

Normally, when everything is fine in a pregnancy, you only get one ultrasound, at 20 weeks.  I was very disappointed when I learned that.  BUT it turns out I get to have one next week and I'm very excited. Here's the reason: my sister Christy had a complication with her pregnancy with Lucy, an "incompetent cervix" which put her on bed-rest for her 2nd and 3rd trimesters.  Isn't that a hilarious/offensive name? I sort of love it, but come on, rude!  Anyways, it's really serious and you're almost guaranteed to lose your first baby if you have it.  That's how it's usually diagnosed--with the loss of your first child at 16-18 weeks.  SO LAME.  It's a rare complication, which is why they don't check for it, but come on!  It's so easy to check.  All it takes is an earlier ultrasound!  So far it's the only thing that I get really rant-y about, pregnancy-wise. Yeah it's rare, but that's my SISTER.  That's LUCY that was miraculously saved and born.  So yeah, I take it pretty seriously.  It can be a genetic thing, so that's why they're checking me out early, just to make sure.  Even aside from the whole genetic part, I think just the fact that I KNOW about it made me want them to check.  It's super unlikely that I have it, but there's no point taking the chance.  For some reason it's the one thing that I was worrying about.  It will be so nice to not worry about it anymore!  And the bonus is that I get to see Morgi earlier than I expected.  There's the slightest chance that we'll get to find out the gender, but it's tough to tell this early.  I'm trying hard to not get my hopes up.  But it would be AWESOME.

And man, if Morgi is a girl, I will be flabbergasted.


Lauren said...

I didn't have the throwing up problem with any of my pregnancies. I took it for granted when I was pregnant with my first and flew cross country for a wedding. No problems...until we landed. And then I bolted to the bathroom and proceeded to throw up in the nasty toilet the whole time the other passengers were getting off. I could hear the flight attendants making comments (nice ones at least). When I was done, my husband was the only passenger left on the plane. Yeah...embarrassing.

Glad you are feeling a bit better. I hope everything turns out okay with your ultrasound. I had PROM with my second (water broke very early) and so I get to have lots of ultrasounds now too. Yay for more pictures of your Morgi!

TheMoncurs said...

Yay early ultrasound!

A girl in my ward paid extra to have an early ultrasound so they could tell their other kids the gender on Christmas. I think the ultrasound was around 15 or 16 weeks? Anyway, they told her it was a boy. And then at her real 20 week ultrasound they told her it was a girl. So..you know. Take whatever they tell you with a grain of salt!

Jaclyn said...

Loved the lead in to this one-- hope you feel better soon!

Brittany said...

I love that his name is Morgi. I'm glad you're starting to feel better. Hopefully it fully goes away soon! Let us know how the ultrasound goes. I was hoping they'd be able to tell what exactly is inside of me at 16 weeks, but that sadly didn't happen. I can't decide if having an ultrasound at each appointment is good or not because any other pregnancy is going to be agonizing since I'm used to seeing the babies each time. Ugh. Either way, I get super anxious between appointments and I'm not sure how to calm myself down...

Kyle said...

I'm okay with the word cervix, but the word I REALLY love is "ultrasound" It sounds like a good super hero name.

Katy said...

If Morgi is a girl I will be flabber-THRILLED TO DEATH. I mean, boys are cool too. If you're into that kind of thing. Whatever.