One Week In

Ruby is a week old!  Actually, a week and one day--I would have written this yesterday, but it wouldn't let me upload pictures for some reason.  And now that I have an adorable child, a picture-less post seems really really dumb.

It has been pretty uneventful around here I guess.  Ruby is doing a great job at home--she is a pretty easy baby to take care of.

I spend a lot of time watching her tiny little face. She makes really funny expressions.  Starting today she is making more eye contact, which is really fun for me.  I have lots of conversations with her.

We went to her one week appt. at the pediatrician and she is developing rapidly!  Her doctor said that he expects newborns to get back to their birth weight by the time they are 2 weeks old.  Ruby, in one week, got to her birth weight AND gained 3 ounces!  That made me feel really good because it means I am feeding her plenty. Kyle says it's a good thing she started out skinny because she is going to gain heck of weight.  I don't have the papers next to me that give her percentiles, and I am certainly not going to get up to get them, but basically she is really long and really skinny.  (It turns out she is 2 inches longer than they told us at the hospital--apparently they didn't stretch her out all the way.)

She's had some eventful  diaper changes.  Twice we have resorted to sponge bathing her to get mass quantities of poop off of her.

Dad was here for the weekend for Grandpa Dee's 80th birthday party.  How lucky that it coincided with Ruby's first weekend at home!

Ruby's first outing was going to lunch at Magleby's with Aunt Diana.  She was an angel and didn't make a peep.  Lunch was also delicious.

Basically we can't get enough of this girl.  I think she is the perfect child and didn't even get mad at her when she would not sleep last night.  It was the first time she gave us trouble sleeping--and of course it was the first night Kyle and I were on our own with her!  She did go to sleep eventually though, and was a very good girl this morning so that I could take a nap.  It was frustrating that she wouldn't sleep, but she was so cute that I couldn't get mad.  She just looked at me with big wide eyes and we had a little chat about how I am her mom and will always try to make her feel better when she is having a hard time, including at 4 in the morning when she can't sleep and needs me to hold her and comfort her.

It's pretty crazy that Kyle and I are parents.  So far it's also pretty great.

It really was Ruby Tuesday!

Ok I ALWAYS do disclaimers:  I hesitated about blogging about Ruby's delivery, just because it's long and boring to most people, buuuut I love reading other people's birth stories and what if EVERYONE avoided it in case it's awkward?  That would be lame.  So I'm pretending that everyone else is just as interested as I am in this sort of thing--plus, this is basically my journal, so I'm going for it.


Here is what I wrote in the hospital in the middle of the night on Thursday.  I could NOT sleep and was all emotional and crazy-feeling, hopefully this is coherent.  It's definitely disjointed but oh well (remember the lack of sleep and crazy emotional circumstances):


Ruby Kay was born at 9:15 pm on Tuesday, her due date.  Earlier that day, I was despairing that she would EVER be born.  I was dreading my doctor appt. that afternoon because I knew he would say I hadn't progressed at all and would have to wait another week.  Except he didn't say that--instead, he told me to go straight to Labor and Delivery because he was worried about her heart rate.  (Thank heavens I had made Kyle leave work early to come to the appointment with me, even though I normally don't and there was no real reason to.)


Once we got to the hospital, things happened really really fast, way too fast to fully handle emotionally.  I was checked in, changed into a gown, and hooked up to a monitor to see how Velocity's heart rate was doing.  It wasn't good.  It would stay steady, and high enough, for a little while--and then dip way way down.  Kyle and I watched the monitor together, feeling encouraged, until her heart rate would start to drop and then we were just panicky and scared.  It looked like we would have to induce labor that night to get her out of there. I was okay with the labor inducing part, I just wished the reasons for it were different.  They started me on Pitocin and my contractions started coming really really fast and painful.  I got an epidural because I knew I had a long, sucky labor ahead of me, so why wait?  We called Mom, who got a plane ticket for the next flight to Utah, and we knew she would get there in time because we had many hours to wait until Velocity arrived.

Unfortunately, it soon became clear that the quick contractions were way too fast for Velocity's heart to handle.  As each contraction came, her heart rate was dipping lower and lower.  Nurses came in and switched me from side to side, hoping to relieve pressure that was on my uterus.  It worked usually, along with the oxygen mask I had to wear.  One time, her heart rate went way too low and wouldn't come back up with these easy remedies.  A bunch of people raced in and I was told to get on my hands and knees, which was difficult/almost impossible because of the epidural and millions of wires/cords/tubes that I was connected to. (Also, it was awkward because I ended up doing it mostly naked.  Awesome.  That's when I stopped feeling uncomfortable with exposure because it just wasn't worth experiencing mental trauma along with all the physical shiz.)  That actually did work eventually, but the gravity of the situation was finally clear.  My doctor (who I love) got there and explained to us what was going on and what our options were.  There was really only one option.  Basically, Velocity was in danger every time I had a contraction.  Even with so many contractions,  I was only 4 cm dilated--and I had been admitted to the hospital at a 3!  There was no way I was going to be able to progress all the way to 10 cm.  It was either try to progress for a little while longer and then do an emergency C-section, with Velocity at risk the entire time, or get in there right then and do an emergency C-section when she was still in a relatively good place.  I can't even tell you how Kyle and I felt right then.  We were completely unprepared for it.  If I had followed my natural instincts as a worrier and worried the last 9 months that something like this would happen, I would have been better prepared.  As it was, somehow I had forsaken my own nature and felt completely calm and carefree for my entire pregnancy. I just never thought something bad/hard/unexpected would happen to us.  I had been really sick and uncomfortable during my pregnancy, way worse than many of my friends, so I figured that was basically all I had to fear from this experience.  I never thought something actually scary could happen to us.  Suddenly, Kyle and I were scared.  We were scared for our baby.  BUT as I was lying on the table with my body completely numb and my arms stretched out and Kyle in his white surgery outfit and both of us completely freaking out trying not to think about what was happening on the other side of the curtain, we talked about it wasn't just "lucky" that my ob had checked Velocity's heart rate during that brief low period in between completely normal heart rates, which would seem nearly impossible when you consider that in a week her heart rate is only listened to for about 10 seconds and I easily could have scheduled my appt. for a different day or even a different hour and he wouldn't have caught it.  We were definitely being looked out for.  Velocity was going to be born and she was going to be fine because Heavenly Father was making sure of it.  We felt a lot better after that and then could just focus on how freaked out we were that I was having major abdominal surgery so unexpectedly, not to mention the fact that we were going to be parents in a matter of moments.  I'm really grateful that we realized all this before surgery started, otherwise I'm sure I would have been much more terrified.

It turns out that the umbilical cord was wrapped twice around Velocity's neck, and once around her body.  It was also in the birth canal ahead of her, so with each contraction it was tightening around her.  Really really dangerous.  The thought of this really scares me until I remember that she is out and safe and healthy.  Oh, and she's not Velocity anymore!  The second she left the womb she became Ruby.  It hasn't even been hard to call her that, like I thought it might be.

After she was born, Kyle went with her to the nursery and I was taken back to my room for about an hour to recover a bit.  I barely got a glimpse of her!  I was so excited to be taken downstairs to our new room where we would live for 3 days.  As soon as they brought her in, I again barely got to look at her before they started me breastfeeding her--apparently she was anxious to start as soon as she began breathing!  I didn't mind though, because I could examine her face to my heart's content in that position.  The truth: she is beautiful.  I knew I'd think so no matter what, but I also knew I'd have a realistic knowledge of her cuteness.  And that realistic knowledge is telling me that I have one adorable baby.

My mom was mid-flight when Ruby was born, unfortunately.  She was certainly surprised to get off the plane and find out that her granddaughter was already born AND that it had been such a scary situation! She has been extremely helpful with caring for Ruby as I start this recovery business--which is, so far, awful.  And mostly she takes care of me, which I really appreciate.

I have been a zombie since she was born (due to medication/pain/exhaustion), but today felt very different.  A bit more alive and human.  Best of all, I feel like I have a relationship with Ruby now.  I'm also pretty sure that while I loved her before, today my obsession with her began.


A lot of emotions that I've been ignoring caught up to me today, probably because I wasn't too exhausted to deal with them.  Disappointment/fear because of the way her delivery went.  Excitement that I had a baby.  Crazy love for the baby I held.  Worry about being a mom.  Grossed-outness about what happens to your body when you have a baby.  Appreciation for the help and love I've been receiving.  Gratitude that Kyle was the man with me through all of this.


And that's when they finally brought Ruby back from her bilirubin testing and I got to feed her again so I stopped blogging.


It's now Saturday night and we're home!  I love being home with Ruby even though the hospital was convenient in some ways (like the never-ending supply of drugs and that great hospital bed).  I really am obsessed with her, hopefully not in a way that is annoying to everyone around me.  It's true what people say: the love kicks in quickly and is INTENSE.  Things  are going really well--at least they are while Mom is here, hopefully they will continue to run smoothly when all our helpers are gone.  I'm not going to be weird about this, but just so you know, breastfeeding is awesome.  I feel like it's a really good reward for all the crappiness of pregnancy and delivery and I'm grateful that it hasn't been difficult for the two of us to get the hang of it.  Ruby is awake for a lot of the day, is definitely a cuddler, and is most of the time really chill.  She doesn't need to be constantly held and is fine just hanging out.  She only cries when she's in pain or frantic for some food.  I know that it's only been 4 days and all of this could change still, but for now she's basically perfect and Kyle and I feel really really lucky.  

Oh this man of mine

Why wouldn't we want to have another one of these??

Except a girl version this time.

Was Kyle not the cutest little child?  Do you not love him more and find him infinitely more endearing now that you know what he looked like when he was 5? I'm okay if Velocity takes after Kyle in almost every way.   I mean, I had my moments of cuteness, but I can't think of anything that beats that top picture of him. So it's cool with me to have a dark-featured child--I think we all know that the Vaughn genes will probably dominate my fair Anderson genes.

Especially when you consider that he grew up into this:

High School Becca would have majorly appreciated High School Kyle. Yes, that's his Edsel. And yes, he does still wear both of those t-shirts.

And finally, he became the Kyle that we all know and love.  Especially me.

As long as Velocity is slightly less beardy, she'll be awesome.

R-9

Mom assures me that I actually am bigger than I thought, I guess because I'm used to myself and she doesn't see me often:

Do I look exhausted in this picture? I should--I am.  I think that's the culprit behind a lot of my puffy-eyed pictures, along with water retention and being 9 days away from my due date of course.

The baby shower this weekend was excellent.

Ashley made those purple cookies. Can you believe it? They're gorgeous.

I can't get enough of this baby.  I want a chunky one like her.

Other than partying, we spent the weekend shopping.  Among other things, we finally got a carseat--this cute Britax Roundabout. 

 We have an infant carrier we're borrowing from Christy, but it turns out she'll need it back sooner than we thought!  AND this was on sale. (Ok this picture is of a different model, but it's the right cover. Close enough.)

I think we have nearly everything.  There are only like 2 for sure things left on our list, and even those we could live without.  It's weird to feel ready.  Well, okay, "ready" I guess.This is such a strange stage--trying to balance the knowledge that she could come at any time with the knowledge that she could come in a couple of weeks.  Making plans is weird because we have to be so flexible.  Any phone call I make is answered with "Oh my gosh are you in labor?!" and I can't believe that at some point, I will actually be calling for that reason.  For now, I am mostly just pleased that the baby's room is mostly put together (I'll have to take pictures at some point), and we're now working on being emotionally prepared for parenthood. Ha. Like that'll ever happen.

At 38 weeks

I am grateful that:

• My face doesn't look that puffy until I smile.(Just sort of puffy)
• I've only had to ask Kyle to tie my shoes once.
• I am still fairly mobile. Most of the time.
• We decided on a name, unless something insane happens to change our minds.  Hint: her nicknames will include Rhubarb, Rue, Rubicon, Ruby Tuesday, Ruby-Dooby-Doo, Kanga-Ruby, Rubella, etc. Maybe Ruby River Steakhouse.  (Middle name: my middle name and Grandma Kay's name.  Oops I just gave it away.)
• One last baby shower this weekend!
• She could really come any day now. It may not seem like it, but we're in the final stretch.
• Last night I got 6 hours of sleep!
• My sister is pregnant with twins.  This is proof to me that prayer works.  I can't wait to be an aunt to two new little babies!  I'm glad we can be pregnant at the same time like we've always talked about, even if it is long-distance and only for like a month.  My family is growing a lot this year! We are all insanely happy for Christy and Danny and Lucy.  And for ourselves, because the offspring of Christy and Danny is pretty delightful so far.
• As much as pregnancy can be really awful, I haven't had any complications or worries.  I can deal with pain and discomfort as long as I know everything is okay.

I'd put up a new pregnant-stomach picture, but it's pretty pointless because I don't feel like I look that different.   I'm just not as shockingly big as I always assumed I would be.

Getting Me Through Pregnancy

The Official Shoe of My Pregnancy

I bought these sandals about 1.5 years ago, and they haven't left my feet since.  Well, I do switch it up when I need to look nice or it's snowing outside.  But they are absolutely the best flip flops I've ever had.  They are just SO FREAKISHLY COMFORTABLE.  Honestly.  I don't think they work whatsoever with the whole tone-your-legs thing (I've never bought into that), but I really don't care because they just feel soooo goooood on my feet.  My sisters mock me because they're not very attractive, and normally I would care, but my feet won't let me because they are finally--FINALLY--comfortable.

My feet are big now.  My feet and ankles and calves are swollen, and hopefully aren't permanently bigger, which I've heard can happen.  My pretty shoes don't fit anymore--which has made me really sad on a couple of occasions where some pointy stilettos would have REALLY made an outfit.  But my Fit Flops ALWAYS make me feel better.  They are now officially the only shoes I can wear--I decided that after church on Sunday, where I brutalized my feet in order to look a little cuter.  No more.  Fit Flops all the way.

The Official Foods of My Pregnancy

First trimester:

The only thing that could ease my sore throat after throwing up.  I really came to depend on Jello pudding and  sometimes it was all I could keep down.  I hope there was some good nutrition in there somewhere?

Second trimester:

The giant pack from Costco was a godsend--my favorite snack.

Third trimester:

Just...you know.  My favorite food.

The Official Awesome Guy of My Pregnancy

The Official Best Medicine of My Pregnancy

Heartburn is one of the many side effects of pregnancy that can be really terrible.  I mean, sometimes it was mild enough that a couple Tums could help, but often that wasn't enough for me.  I would be up all night in serious pain--unable to sleep or even lay down, regardless of how many pillows I tried to prop myself with.  It really really hurt.  I tried a couple different medications that my doctor recommended, and finally used Prilosec.  It worked almost immediately and has been really effective, drastically improving my life!  I still occasionally have mild heartburn, because Velocity just REALLY wants to cause it, but I am so so so much happier.  Heartburn isn't the most terrible symptom of pregnancy (although it's up there), but it definitely made everything a lot worse, and I'm glad I don't have to deal with it anymore.  I wish I could find equally effective medication for all the other symptoms too!



The Official Distractions of My Pregnancy

I'm focusing on the positive today because I am TIRED.  That often translates into CRANKY, but I am trying to be okay with no sleep because soon that will be my life.  It kind of feels like it's my life already--I've always had sleep problems, they intensified with my pregnancy, and now I just flat out suck at sleeping.  I'm getting between 3 and 5 hours of sleep every night (over the weekend I got 6 hours one night, it felt GREAT) and I'm not great at dealing with it.  I will continue to try though.  Kyle deserves a wife who is pleasant and delightful to be around, not ornery and mean.  Just because I only slept from 11PM to 2 AM doesn't mean I can't also be a healthily functioning human being, right?  It's good practice for having a newborn.  The haircut I got today, combined with the fact that I LOVE the bag I got with the Clinique bonus gift (I have been waiting for Clinique Gift Time for MONTHS) makes me feel a lot better.

Choosing a convertible car seat would make me feel even better.  For some reason it's stressing me out.

Advise Me

I am not expecting a baby to come anytime before September 21, but I am starting to think about that hospital bag.  Just in case.  I won't pack it yet--for some reason I'm thinking it's a week 38 job--but I'm at least considering what should go into it.  Which means I'm asking you.  What should I bring? Is there a super important item that I won't think of?  I don't entirely trust the online lists because they all include "prepaid phone card and a list of phone numbers"--seems slightly outdated and dumb.  I know I need a toothbrush, camera/laptop, and (big) clothes to go home in. That's about it.

(I can't imagine going home with a baby.  Driving a car with my baby in it?  Scary!  Kyle put the carseat in a couple weeks ago because he's excited, but I can't imagine it being occupied.  We plan on driving through Arby's on the way home, because it's our tradition after leaving the hospital--and I'll probably need a chocolate milkshake more than ever.  That's as far as I've planned, returning-home-as-parents-wise.)