37 weeks= full-term

I'm starting to think I NEED junk food.  I know that's not actually true.  Since Kyle and I have been SUPER DILIGENT about our food budget, we go out to eat less and don't buy things like soda or candy at the grocery store.   This is great for our wallets and our health, but happiness level? Not so sure.  No, not really--I find myself craving things like cinnamon bears/Reese's/Sprite less frequently for sure.  It's just once in a while--like right now.  At 8 AM.   That's okay right? Oh man....I'd kill for a Sprite right now.  I guess I'll have ice water instead.

On Saturday we went to Megan and Weston's house and had a party to celebrate CoreyAnn's graduation from nursing school.  It was so fun to see some old friends and meet Wyatt, Megan's new baby! He is sooo cute.  I once again did not take hardly any pictures, but oh well.

Other than that...there just isn't much going on.  I am still pregnant.  Kyle works a lot.  We're excited for September 21st, and we're trying to take advantage of our last weeks together sans baby.  We've almost finished Mockingjay and we're loving it.  Kyle has even read it to me a couple times when my mouth was occupied with eating.  It's very romantic.

And the Mariah Carey station on Pandora that I'm listening to is really treating me right.

Baby love

Looking at newborn pictures of Lucy made me wish that it was the end of September already.

Katy meeting Lucy.

Mom meeting Lucy.

Dad and his first granddaughter.

Me meeting Lucy.

Lucy was cute from the very beginning.  Not all babies are, I am perfectly aware.  I'll think Velocity is beautiful no matter what, but it would certainly be fun if she was beautiful to everyone else too.  Chances are, Velocity won't look anything like Lucy--not with the dark Vaughn genes!  I think a little dark-haired girl will be sooo cute though, even if she doesn't look like she's related to me at all.

(Also, I was tan 3 years ago!)

Sometimes it's weird to think that I'll immediately love a baby that I don't know yet.  I know I will though.  If I'm ever irrationally worried, I think about Lucy and how I instantly fell in love with her. I remember Christy handing her to me and I just started bawling.  I know it will be entirely different with my own baby, and even more intense.  I hope I don't explode from the crazy amounts of love we'll be feeling.

(It would be great if I was this skinny holding my own newborn.  Alas, IMPOSSIBLE.  Those jeans are loooong gone.)

long. more journal-y than usual. totally random.

I am in such a great mood.  I know I already posted today, but I'm just feeling so good and I don't want it to go undocumented.  It's not that I am NEVER in a good mood or anything like that.  It just seems like I am usually OKAY.  Not ecstatic, not depressed, just pretty stable.  And that's great--I think the last several years of my life (okay make it like eight or ten) I have been way too emotional rollercoaster-y, either really really happy or in the depths of despair.  Being married to Kyle has made me more even-keeled I think--because that is exactly how he is.  Very stable.  I think it's good to have good and bad times, but it's also less exhausting to just be consistent.  Frankly, it's a relief.  (It's one of the things that drew me to Kyle, and the thing that stood out the most about our relationship when we were dating.  Most [all] of my relationships were DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA, full of fights and tears and back-and-forths.  With Kyle...I was never sad!  I never had to deal with overemotional shiz. It was SO MUCH BETTER.)

ANYWAYS.  A big part of my good mood is that Velocity is not making me miserable right now.  Other than my size, I don't even feel freakishly pregnant!  Let me tell you, that is RARE.  There is always SOMETHING wrong with me physically due to being pregnant.  Sometimes it's not a huge deal, just discomfort, and sometimes it is absolutely crazy painful. I've convinced myself that the worse I feel, the better she's doing, so it's okay.  But anyways, it's not controlling my life at this moment, and that is making me very happy.  I wonder if I can go a whole day without feeling like crap?  Yesterday was especially crappy, so I'm relieved that today is good.

I have a lot to look forward to today.  (Ok, not by most people's standards probably, but for me and Kyle, we're excited.)  We've started being super strict on our grocery budget this month (and all budgets) and we're doing AWESOME.  We decided that with the leftover money from that budget, we get to go buy anything we want at Costco.  Luxury items! Very exciting.  SO today we're heading to Costco for that fun shopping trip, PLUS we're picking up Mockingjay, which I've already explained is VERY EXCITING.  Because I have so much to look forward to, and I'm feeling so good, I've been really energetic today and gotten a lot done around the house. I even think I am going to bake a cake--it's the one thing I've been craving for weeeeeeks and not indulged in yet.  (Really, I haven't had any cravings, and I don't even think cake counts.  I've just wanted it for a while now. But hey, I'm a month away from having a baby, so I think I've earned it.)

ALSO-- at 8.5 months pregnant, I had only gained like...4 pounds.  Unexpected, but great, because it's not like I was dieting or anything like that.  BUT then I went to California for a week, and when I got back, I had gained FIVE POUNDS.  In ONE WEEK.  I was shocked!  My doctor said it wasn't because I had just eaten like crazy--the heat added to it, and my swollen extremities, and Velocity is just packing on the pounds now apparently.  He thought it was totally fine, and maybe good, because you're supposed to gain weight. Buuuut in the week since I got back, I haven't gained anything, so I think it really is just that Mom gave me more delicious food than I'm used to!  I only have 4 weeks left, so hopefully I won't get super fat in that time.  It'll be great to have the baby and come out of this weighing less than I did before.  I can't believe I'm currently 9 months pregnant.  One more week and she's full-term!  And of course I KNOW she'll be late.  She just will be.  Right now I'm okay with that--we'll see how I feel in a couple of weeks!

mockingjay mockingjay mockingjay!

No, I haven't read it yet. Yes, I'm dying to.  Kyle and I are going to Costco as soon as he gets home from work and we're buying it.  So far in this trilogy, I read the book as soon as possible and then read it out loud to Kyle on a car trip.  He loves it and it's fun for me to read again--and believe me, it makes the trip go really fast!  (We're too poor for the actual audiobook.)  With this, the THIRD and FINAL installment (oh my gosh oh my gosh), I thought it would be fun to read it WITH him (still reading it out loud to him) before I've read it quickly on my own.  We just finished Supernatural season 5 and can't get Lost season 6 for a few days, so we have nothing else to do anyways :)  It will be torture to not read while he's at work, and reading out loud is definitely slower-going.  But it will be so great to race through dinner because we're both so anxious to keep going, lay in bed and read it for ages and hate putting it down!  Plus...it seems so old-timey to spend our evenings reading out loud.  What a great activity.

(Originally, the plan was for me to read it now, and then Kyle would read it out loud while I was in labor, just to make the hospital stay more entertaining.  But I hate to make Kyle wait that long to find out what happens, and what if we get interrupted by a dang baby being born?  So I think we're going to watch Lost while we wait.  Thank heavens for epidurals that make such things possible.)

I'm freakishly excited. I can hardly wait for Kyle to be done with work so we can get this party started.

Whit's Wedding!

Saturday was an eventful and exciting day--Whitney got married!  We were all so excited because we really like her (now) husband Cody.  We all had a blast hanging out and basking in the weddingness of the day.  Umm...I LOVE WEDDINGS.

Notice her shoes.

About to take off!  I sat out the jumping  picture because of my...size. And I usually ruin them anyways.

It's impossible to get a good picture of me these days.  It seems like what I look like in real life is entirely different from what I look like in pictures!  Maybe I needed to turn more to the side to look more cute pregnant, not gross pregnant.  I swear though, my face does not look this chubby in real life. To me at least. Ok maybe it does.

  

A wedding in Salt Lake City?  That means that, in accordance with tradition, we were forced to go to Star of India for lunch with our friends.  And it was awesome.  This time we refused to branch out and just got a lot of tikka masala...I have no regrets.

The reception was gorgeous. It was impossible to capture with a camera how amazing the setting was, in Whitney's friend's backyard.  We all gawked and drooled for basically the entire time.  It was so exciting for us to just be in a place like that!  Furthermore, Whitney made great color/decor/food/cake/everything choices.  Everything was so fun and really pretty.

I wish I took more pictures.  I am not a good documenter--it's lucky I have this many.  There were a bunch of us there from the old Park Place ward, it was fun to reunite and hang out for a while.  Do I have pictures of us?  Of course not. Lame.

blah doldrums humbug blah

This is probably one of those posts I'll be embarrassed about later, because it's not "Oh hey this is what's going on lately", instead it's like "These are my issues, let's discuss on the interwebs about them."  BUT I think (hope) that these are relatable issues--it can't just be me, yeah?

So.  I guess what it all boils down to is laziness?  I'm mostly just mad at myself because I can't make myself DO anything when I'm on my own.  I was just visiting my family in California for a week, and I was crazy busy and I loved it.  I was up at 7 every morning, running around doing errands, cleaning, cooking, decorating, getting stuff done--with some fun things mixed in, of course.  Then, after dinner, we relaxed for a bit and then went to bed and fell asleep instantly, feeling great about our busy day and looking forward to tomorrow (or maybe that was just me).

Now I'm back at home in Utah, alone, and I am so so so lazy.  My house is already clean.  There are no immediate laundry needs.  I already did the small amount of dishes.  It's not like I am neglecting anything really important, which is nice I guess.  I just want to be one of those wives/moms (soon)--always on the move, improving everything around them.  There are things I COULD do-- finish some thank-you cards, do some more baby laundry, finish an embroidery project--and maybe I will.  But right now, I am just lethargic and not getting off the couch.  I know that the moms out there will be like "OH MY GOSH you ungrateful swine, just appreciate the quiet and restfulness of your life" and I don't disagree--I know I will look back on this point of my life and curse myself for not enjoying the luxury of cleanliness and silence and all that.  I'm just worried about my future if I can't get out of this habit.  I can't watch tv and read blogs and peruse Facebook all day if I also have a kid to take care of!

I asked Christy once if laziness is magically cured when you have kids, because I see her as being extremely proactive and productive and a phenomenal mom.  She said absolutely not, it's something you have to struggle with and force yourself to grow out of.  It was depressing to realize that I'm going to have to actually work at enjoying work.  

Hopefully I can blame a lot of my lethargy on being 8.75 months pregnant (although I suspect that's not the entire reason, because maybe I've always been this way).  And then, once I'm not pregnant anymore, I can blame it on the fact that I just had a baby, and I'll be pretty busy getting my internal organs back into their proper places.  And THEN it can be blamed on the lack of sleep that goes along with caring for a newborn.  Buuuut what about after that?  At what point do I really have no excuse for Kyle doing everything for me?  (He does, by the way.  The second he gets home from work, he's taking care of stuff I should be taking care of.  It makes me feel horribly guilty, but I'm also really grateful.  A huge reason I want to be an energetic productive person is to pay him back for these last several months of uncomplaining service.  He'd probably appreciate some meals that aren't Kraft Mac n Cheese and the occasional spaghetti.)

So I guess my end goal is to be a motivated self-starter. I want to be the woman who finds enjoyment in cleaning the house and making delicious meals.  (That might be rare, but I KNOW it exists, because I'm related to several of them.  Grandma Kay ENJOYS these things you guys.)  OR if I could just clean the house and make delicious meals, and not necessarily enjoy it, but at least appreciate the fact that I HAVE a clean house and good dinner to eat with my family, that would be great too.  Oh and while we're at it, craftiness would also be a nice trait to have--I enjoy making things, but I'm not GOOD at it.  If I could vacuum, make bread, AND sew something successfully all in one day--I will have arrived.  I don't think I feel this way because of pressure from society blah blah blah or whatever.  I just see it as a really happy way to live life, and I want that!

And really, I don't feel the need to be Super Woman--I just want to stop watching tv on the couch and start feeling like a worthwhile human being.  That would be a great place to start.

ANYWAYS. My laziness is a problem and I need to change. Impending motherhood is making it seem more dire.  That's basically it.

(It's also Christy's birthday today.  She is one of the moms/wives that I want to be like.  If I can take care of my kids the way she does, I will be pleased and feel very successful.  She also manages to stay super hot and skinny and pretty all the time, AND is a good wife, AND is crafty, AND maintains a positive attitude even in the midst of trials. All at the same time!  Phew.  I need to take lessons from her.)

Dude I only have 5 weeks left

It's my last night in California--and I'm spending it participating in the perfect activity, aka watching hours of The IT Crowd with my parents.  The fact that they looooove this show is a testament to their coolness.   It's great to just sit and relax because this week has been FREAKISHLY BUSY.  A million things have really kept us running around.  (This means my feet and ankles are super swollen at the end of the day, fyi.  It's great.) We are all tuckered out but it's also been really fun.  It's great because I sleep like a rock every night, which is a nice change from my normal pregnancy-induced tossing and turning.

California is funny because a)it's been downright chilly while I've been here, is that weird or what?  And mostly because b)people here are really nice to pregnant women.  I mean, Utah is FULL of pregnant girls and I think everyone is bored with it.  Old news.  I'm not special.  BUT it's still exciting in California.  The second I got off the plane I had people congratulating me and asking when I'm due.  People have actually seen me in line in the bathroom and let me go first because I'm pregnant.  I love it here!  No one has touched my rather large stomach, and instead they just say nice things. 

Lucy got a haircut. She LOVES long hair so she was pretty dang upset when she saw how short it was cut.  We all love it though!  Every day she looks in the mirror to check if it got longer overnight.

The baby shower was really really great.  These were my favorite treats because they're so pretty:

(We got really into the bird theme, obviously.)

LOVE the quilt we tied during the party.  The back is lime green. PERFECT.

And it turns out, cake balls are WAY harder to make than Bakerella says.  (At least, for me.  I think I'm slightly retarded though.)  It made me sad.

This weekend we drove to Irvine, unpacked a UHaul, put everything in its place in Christy and Danny's new apartment (seriously it's almost all done), and drove back.  We were pretty tired--and dang loopy on the way back.  Lucy would NOT smile normally.

Um, a really funny episode is on so I have to go.  I'm really really excited to see Kyle tomorrow!

Velocity's first baby shower

I'm so glad time is going by quickly--I was worried that August and September would draaaaaag.  Today I'm hopping on a plane to California--my last trip before being a mom! I know it will get much much harder to travel when I have a kid.

Celia threw me an awesome baby shower on Saturday.  I am incredibly awkward about parties thrown in my honor (which I discovered two years ago during my bridal showers) but this wasn't awkward at all!    Hallelujah.  I guess it was really in Velocity's honor, and that makes all the difference.  It was so fun to hang out with my friends and eat delicious food.  (Funny thing about Celia, Ashley, Katy, and me--ANY party we throw features turkey sandwiches and cupcakes.  Other things too, but ALWAYS turkey sandwiches and cupcakes.) (Fool that I am, I did not take a single solitary picture.  I am a complete loser.  I need to do better.)  I received blankets, toys, Velocity's very first book (Curious George's ABC book, I love it!), a ton of toiletry-type items that are going to be sooo useful and I'm glad I don't have to think about buying later, and a gorgeous car canopy made by Amanda.  I made out like a bandit!  We kind of ended up hanging out for hours chatting, and I loved it when Kyle came and joined us to eat and hang out.  They are all his friends too!  It was awesome.

We're finally watching Supernatural season 5 whenever we get a chance.  I can't believe we have to put it on hold for a whole week while I'm gone!  I don't know if  we can survive without more Sam and Dean...

bleh

Don't have a lot going on.  Mostly I'm just sick as a dog.  I haven't had a cold in a long time it seems like--let alone one of these wipe-you-out, can't-breathe-can't-move-can't-sleep colds.  Lame.  I've been "sick" since Wednesday but have only REALLLLLY been sick since Sunday morning.  (Luckily, I didn't miss out on any of the many social opportunities that Saturday presented.  Other than my husky voice, I felt fine.)  I remember colds as being little sniffly annoyances, not diseases that completely remove you from humanity!  I hope this goes away SOON.

Fortunately, Kyle is being really nice to me. The only problem is that he has to go to work and now I have no one to complain to!