I can't sleep, so...

I'm reading the saddest book. It's called The History of Love. I love love love it, definitely one of my favorites. It's beautiful. I really hate having my emotions manipulated, but I love sad things if the emotion is genuine and sincere, which this IS. Just now I had to take a break from it, because I don't want to cry a lot and wake up Katy. It's written by the wife of one of my favorite contemporary author, Jonathan Safran Foer. I think they must have a beautiful life together.

Today I finally saw Children of Men. What an amazing gorgeous movie. Celia and I bawled 4 different times. I loved it. Michael Caine is one of my favorite men in the world. I just found out that he's been knighted. His presence is very comforting. I love babies. This movie made me think of Lucy and how much I love her.

It's been a year now since Lance and I broke up. It's amazing how things always work out in the best way. Celia is still so upset about her breakup, so it was good to talk to her about this, because my current situation gives her hope. Life DOES go on and it DOES get even better.

I'm excited for the party tomorrow. I think it's taking on a surprising scale.

so inconvenient

The stupid LRC is sooo full and I finally got a computer but it doesn't have headphones but the only reason I'm here is to watch 30 Rock while Kyle is in class. I don't know why it is SUCH A BIG DEAL that I can't watch 30 Rock right now, but dang it is.

Preparations for the party continue. Some key people can't come (personas clave), which is regretful, but it will still be awesome. I was up til 3 with Caitlin last night, preparing. Tonight will probably be the same. It's all worth it. Pictures will follow.

one more step, lut-san

Man, I am almost done with this miserable terrible week. All I have to do besides go to class today:

--Finish my paper
--Turn it in

That list used to be hugely long! I'm so happy it's Friday, and all my sorrows are past. That Physical Science test yesterday nearly did me in. I studied for so many hours! And now I have all this weird information floating around in my head, and I don't want it.

So, Wednesday night I was up all night studying. Thursday I was really tired from that, and couldn't wait to go to bed. But for some reason, my roommates and I stayed up til nearly 5 together! There was no reason for it! There's seriously something wrong with us. BUT, it was a lot of fun, and I think some bonding went on. At least I didn't have to wake up at 8, like the rest of them.

YES

So, I'm really excited about Hallowe'en! The party Kyle and I were going to got cancelled, which was such a bummer because today we FINALLY decided on costumes. BUT instead we are going to throw a supersweet awesomely fun party of our own! It's out of character for us, but it is going to be a wild success. We've already got a lot of support and have some awesome ideas. I'm just excited. I wish I didn't have to do any school, because I want to get this party put together. I pretty much haven't done anything tonight yet because we've been planning it. Oh well. Luckily, next week school is no big deal.

I'm blogging from my own computer! My internet is working momentarily so I had to take advantage of it. I'm sending it to HP this week, they will fix it for me for free!

So many good things! Unfortunately I am going to be really depressed tomorrow because I have to write a paper, finish a project, and fail a test (and yes, I will fail it). Right now I'm clinging to my good spirits though. Plus Kyle gets home soon!

school=death

My internet has been broken for ages, but it wasn't too bad because I always just used Katy's computer. No big deal. But now Katy's computer has been broken for like a week and I've been dying. It is SUCH a hassle, plus no blogging. The only chance I get to go on the internet is on campus or when I steal Celia's computer, like right now.

This is the worst week ever! Just in school I guess, but it sure feels like it ruins everything else. I've never had a week like this--where every single second of every single day is planned out. I don't have a moment of free time! I'm not used to that. SO tonight I pretty much just broke, and instead of studying (which I really should have done) Kyle and I went to Smiths and got treats. He REALLY wanted a root beer float, but I didn't want to go home EVER, so we bought a Christmas goblet, a little tub of ice cream, a bottle of root beer, and a box of plastic spoons and made it in the car. I got cinnamon bears and orange soda--few things could so effectively cheer me up.

Something that DID cheer me up, and was the bright spot in an otherwise depressing day, is that Celia found my gift card! Ok, Mom and Dad got me a bunch of gift cards for my birthday, one of which was $50 at Forever 21. My favorite and cheapest store. FIFTY BUCKS!!! That could buy SO MUCH there. I was ecstatic, because I feel so broke lately, and it's really depressing. So, the very next day after my birthday, it was gone. I hadn't touched it, and everyone else swore that they didn't either. I tore up the house looking for it, and eventually we decided that someone must have stolen it, as ridiculous as that sounds (I am SO GLAD we were wrong). I've been sad about it for over a week (what a waste of awesome money and clothes!) but this morning Celia woke me up because she found it in the couch (where I looked a million times)!!!!!!!! I was so happy. Now, after a terrible week, I can go shopping on Saturday and get really happy! I'm overwhelmed with how lucky I am.

This weekend was pretty cool. Lots of Arrested Development! And Kyle and Katy and I went to Olive Garden, which was hilarious because we all make fun of that restaurant, but Kyle and I secretly (openly) really like it. Katy just wanted to indulge us because she is nice. Kyle and I also went to an awkward party at Katy P.'s house, where we scored a sweet caramel apple that Nieman made for us. It was really hard to eat, so I took a picture of Kyle's attempt. This picture is funny because you can see Rory perfectly clear in the mirror in the background:Check out that fierce concentration! Pretty hot, right?

hulllllllll

I feel weird. Awkward, uncomfortable, uneasy. And I have NO CLUE why! Nothing's wrong. Nothing's happened. I woke up feeling this way.

I have to get ready for school now. Maybe I'll feel better after I shower?

This...this is the truth.

Happy Birthday to Me!

So far, being 22 is exactly how I expected it would be--slightly worse than being 21. I just hope I can hold out until I turn 23 and things lighten up. Kyle is going to help me through it--he's done it before, and he survived.


My birthday celebrations were great! Saturday night, I went to Salt Lake City with my friends. It was so fun to wear dresses and look fancy. We went to a cool restaurant--Bucca di Beppo, which is the most fun thing to say. Awesome food, crazy decorations. Then we walked around the Gateway, and I got to go to Anthropologie, the most amazing and gorgeous store EVER. That store is who I want to be. Then we went to the opera! My favorite thing in the world. I love the Capitol Theater--maybe not as much as I love the San Francisco Opera Hall, but still, it's pretty inside. We saw The Flying Dutchman by Wagner, which was pretty weird and the music was gorgeous. The message I got from it was that it is HARD to find a faithful woman.


Sunday was my real birthday. I wore the gold shoes to church on Sunday, because they just needed to be worn and this was the perfect occasion. I've been really looking forward to wearing them! Wearing them around the house with my pajamas just isn't the same. I feel like I'm on America's Next Top Model, when they give the girls ridiculous shoes to walk down the runway with. Anyways, church was great, of course. Kyle gave a GOOD lesson that he refuses to see the merit of, but I really enjoyed it. I got set apart in my calling as Employment Specialist, and there was an awkwardly controversial Relief Society lesson about women working. It was a good day at church!







After church, I got to open my presents! Kyle gave me a book I've been really wanting--Bear Grylls wrote it about his ascent of Mt. Everest! I love Bear Grylls! He also gave me TEN BOXES OF CAPRI SUN because he is so cool. Is it bad that we're going through one box a day? Capri Sun is just so good. Mom and Dad gave me an AWESOME present--a bunch of gift cards! I feel like I can have fun again, because I can finally afford to. Katy gave me heck of awesome movies (heck of as in very, and heck of as in many.) The most exciting one was the only season of Freaks and Geeks on dvd! I've been wanting it for years, and I always check it on ebay, but it's so dang expensive because it's the best show ever. THANK YOU KATY!!! Also, a sweet tshirt that just came in the mail today and I'm wearing right now. It has a picture of an astronaut and it says "Not all dreams can come true", and I'm going to wear it all the time to make people sad. Or maybe I'll just wear it when I'M sad.


So, on Sunday I watched Freaks and Geeks pretty much all day with Kyle and Katy. It was such a fun day. Katy made me a chocolate cake that we're still eating, it's heck of good. I feel very content about my birthday. Now real life has started again, and I'm worried about tests and things. And also, what the heck am I going to be for Halloween? I'm going to a Halloween party full of people I don't know, so it has to be good.

Oct. 12 is almost Oct. 13th!

I cannot WAIT until tomorrow. Tonight is a homework night for Kyle and me, so we don't have to ruin our celebratory weekend with studying and writing papers. It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make! I think I'll make some chex muddy buddies to make our friday night more exciting. We'll probably take tons of pictures tomorrow that I can put up (for Christy!)

School continues. I wish it wouldn't. It'd be so cool if it was Nov. 20th right now, but Oct. 12th is pretty good too. I feel GREAT about Eng. 291 because of that one successful paper, I'm liking Spanish now and don't feel like a disaster, my Anthropology class (Kayla--it's "Shamanism, Magic, and Religion in China, Japan, and India") is mostly interesting and really low-maintenance, and Physical Science....well it's killing me, but oh well. I think tonight I will memorize 7 chapters of it.

Everyone around me is getting engaged. It's exciting. I think it'll be fun to be in on the planning of a wedding, other than Christy's. I'm learning tons.

Well, I'ma go find Kyle and go home. I'm done with campus for the day.

Last night was a much-needed break. Maybe irresponsible--but maybe just really awesome. And we're making up for it today, so we're accepting the consequences. Gladly. Kyle took me to Outback! It was sooooo good. We just really love steak! My enthusiasm for my steak was pretty extreme. And Kyle sure was manly eating his giant piece of meat. THEN instead of doing homework, we went to a movie! The dollar theater is a part of my life in a way it's never been before. We go like once a week now! This summer just had so many great movies that Kyle didn't see and I want to see again! Last night we saw the late showing of Harry Potter. I did NOT bawl in 5 different places this time. But...it was still hard. And amazing. And SO FUN to go to with Kyle! He is so good to watch movies with.

I still have another half hour before my anthropology class. Being stuck on campus without a good book to read is lame.

Happy Hour?

Tonight Kyle and I were in charge of margaritas for our ward opening social. We had a pretty good time sequestering ourselves in the kitchen, perfecting the art of margarita-mixing. By the end, they were really good! Kyle's good at customer service, I noticed. That's why he is such a good suit salesman. Also, he is good at salsa dancing!

After the party was over (and I was really really tired) we went to my house and watched Crash. I was so emotionally exhausted afterwards! I really loved it.

Despues, my roommates came home and were really crazy and loud and it didn't really fit my mood, but I love them anyways.

Another exciting thing. Kyle had his first J-Dawgs experience! He really liked it. I can't believe we don't have any documentation. I need to carry my camera around with me ALWAYS, because we so often regret not having pictures of the things we do. We did the cool nighttime Sundance ski-lift ride last week, and took no pictures. Bar-tending tonight, no pictures (except the aftermath, with the empty bottle of Jose Cuervo Margarita Mix). Sometimes we're really boring, but sometimes we are REALLY picture-worthy. I am SO bringing a camera to the festivities NEXT WEEKEND! I am so excited for that. Dinner at the awesome restaurant with the unspellable name in SLC, and then THE OPERA!!!!! I am so lucky. What an AWESOME birthday. I really don't want to turn 22, but I can't wait for all the fun times when it really happens.

IT'S OCTOBER!!!!!

That means:

--finally well into the semester

--my birthday!

--my favorite day of the year: 10/13

--Hallowe'en

--General Conference

--significantly closer to Thanksgiving

--candy

--maybe I'll let myself be dragged to a holiday dance

--or maybe not

I'm sure that there are other things. I love October. Maybe because it's my birthday month, but I think it's more than that. I love how October feels. Close to holidays, but not stressful. Getting colder, but not freezing my bone marrow. Lots of candy. LOTS of it. Last Halloween was the worst holiday of my entire life. I would like to make up for it by having a sweet awesome Halloween this year. What a I going to be for Halloween? I wasn't anything last year (except for a big pile of misery) so I need to do something cool. Really cool. I'm really bad at costume ideas though. I may rely on others. Any good ideas, let me know. Man, you know who's costume was really attractive last year? KYLE VAUGHN. I remember looking at those pictures long ago, before we were friends. I guess I'm shallow--that's when I decided to date him. That was a good decision. (Granted, it took 8ish months to happen, but still--it worked, right?)

So, my apartment is falling apart. TK is moving out this week. I am SAD. Every time we try to live together, she gets really sick and has to go home. Maybe it's my fault. Lame. Also, Celia's health sucks and her parents are trying to make her come home. NOOOOOOO. My life would seriously be over. Park Place #3 is NOTHING without Cecilia. Probably Katy and I would perish without her.

I don't usually talk about boyfriendy things, especally not on the internet, but MAN I'm just really happy. This is probably the healthiest reltionship I've ever been in! It's not turning me psycho. AND Kyle is nice to me. AND everything is just really great, all the time. I'm so used to having all sorts of problems in a relationship--and this is just SO EASY and RIGHT. NO fighting, no "discussing", no feeling sad and worried all the time! It doesn't cause me any stress. Such a big deal. Is that really awkward to say in a blog? Sorry Kyle.